Today I noticed how easy it is to let time slip away from me without putting any effort into some of the things that lift me up. I didn’t just notice it today, I noticed it over the past couple of days whenever I would think about this writing challenge I’ve taken on and how I was not going to have the time to sit down and focus on it. My life hasn’t been overly busy, I’ve been off work and E has been home, but I do think I’ve spent more time than necessary in a bit of a haze from alcohol. It’s a holiday weekend, so things can get festive – and no, I wasn’t drinking all day for the past two days, but in overdoing it with friends on Friday I was left feeling run down on Saturday, and then pumped things back up with a holiday cocktail in the afternoon, followed by a bit more into the evening. The next thing you know – I’ve once again left my laptop untouched. No writing, no focus on the thing that makes me proud of myself. Not that this little exercise is something to be proud of in terms of how it’s put together, but it does make me proud because I’m free writing and just getting words on a page feels good. This will lead to other pieces that I know I can do so much more with and when I was on a roll with my other blog earlier this year, I could almost feel the power of what I was putting to page running through my veins. What I can see so clearly is how when I’m by myself, I focus on the things that make me feel strong, and when I finally have time to be with E, I’m so wrapped up in the fact that I get to be with him, that I end up putting some of this aside. It’s only natural, I suppose, and I don’t regret him being here – I couldn’t be happier. I just have to remember to also pay attention to some of the other things that make me thrive. I have noticed how poorly I feel when I get lost in the haze and neglect myself, so when I take notice, I need to change it. It’s not always easy, but it’s the difficult things that are worth pursuing.
Curious about what I’m doing here with this free writing exercise? Check out the intro on Day 1.